Celebrate Who You Are Now

I recently had the enormous pleasure and opportunity to take a girls trip with my best friend. We went to San Francisco and had seriously the most amazing experiences. We didn't rent a car and walked everywhere which gave us such a feel for the city. We met so many amazing people and had such great experiences. Often when you take a trip like that there is a misstep here or there, a bad dinner, a bad bar etc but not on this trip. It was serendipitous. Everything was amazing, if expensive, but still amazing.

We ate and drank. Drank and ate, and shopped.
The shopping is what I want to talk to you about.
We stopped in a ton of shops and tried on clothes. Everything I tried on was cute and affordable(ish)  but in my mind I kept thinking "man, in five to ten pounds this will really look great. I won't get it now I will wait to buy new stuff till I lose a little more."
To my best friends credit she told me I looked amazing and to buy a couple of things (even if our tastes are completely different).
Now sitting at home bathing the kids and thinking about the trip the thing I regret is not buying that damn dress.
It had cut outs on the side and was a summery dress. It had a long flowy see through top skirt and a short black mini skirt under it. I looked good in it and would have stopped traffic in it in about 10 more pounds.

I realize now that I need to stop living in the future where I "look better, leaner, weigh less, have more confidence" and start living in the now.

Yes, I continue to get healthier each month. I will end up smaller than I am now. However, I will never be back in San Fran with my best friend with the opportunity to buy a kick ass dress that looked great on me.
My own body issues and fear kept me from buying that dress and I regret it.

Love what you are now ladies and gentleman and celebrate it. You can always hire a tailor to take in a great dress if you lose a ton of weight. You can always wear a jacket over a summer dress until it is summer.
You can not, however, get back the experience of buying something you really like with someone you really love.
We spend so much time thinking about the body we want and need to spend time loving the body we have.
I am trying to do this and I invite you to do it with me.

Love yourself and celebrate your journey. You might be smaller and healthier later down the line but you will never be you in this moment again.

My Husband Can't Lie

My husband can't lie. He is terrible at it. I mean really bad at it. It isn't in his nature to think of something devious even if it will help him. He once admitted to a ref "yes sir I did kick that guy in the head" got him suspended for a game. Damn man.
When we were getting ready to move from Phoenix to Denver the hubs was the one who was in Denver searching for rental places. I had a couple of school systems that were acceptable but that was the only direction I gave. OH and a big tub, I needed a good school system and a big tub.

He found a beautiful house near some of his college friends that were already in Denver. It met all the requirements and was nearly a brand new house.
"Yes please get that house", I frantically e-mailed him back. "It is PERFECT". Vision's of relaxing evenings on the back porch watching the kids play followed by long soaks in the giant tub floating through my head!

He called me later and advised we couldn't rent that house. I didn't understand because our credit was great and we had all the down payment money ready to hand over. I asked him why.

"Because we have a german shepherd."
I was so angry, Beau our white german shepherd doesn't even look like a german shepherd to most people. I asked why hadn't he just fibbed and said he was a mixed breed, they wouldn't know. I mean it isn't like he is papered or anything.

"I don't lie Kitty."

Damn man and his morals.

He found a house.....ah this house. It has three floors and has a poor lay out. The basement floods when it rains and there are three yards to take care of. I could live with all of that but there is only a tiny tub.

I was angry when we moved in. Climbing those stairs with a baby and laundry was and is ridiculous!

Then I met the women I now call friends. Some through Hal's school and some through Mom's club of Aurora. I cherish them and have had so many great life experiences because of them in just the short 1.5 years we have lived here.

 Had we gotten the first house I am sure I would have made friends and good ones. I am pretty likeable and only slightly vain.

Had we gotten the first house I can almost guarentee I wouldn't have run a 5k, or a triathlon, or discovered painting is fun and I am half way decent at it. I wouldn't have discovered that women make amazing friends when you find the right ones.

My mother used to tell me that your college friends are the ones that you will have forever. When I came out of college I didn't have many friends that I still talked to. I spent the 10 years after college cycling through friendships and learning how to be a friend. I was REALLY bad at it. I formally apologize to anyone I was friends with from the ages 10-30.

I speak a lot about how friendship is an amazing part of my life and it can get old but I am so overcome with the friendships I am making at an older age.

Thanks for those of you who stuck it out and are still friends with me through it all. You lot are few and far between but responsible for helping me learn what it meant to be a good friend. Thanks to those of you who are new to my life and teaching me so many wonderful things.

Most of all thanks to my husband and his damn morals.